Year 3: Life plan
This year was much better emotionally for me (self-care and a supportive network of family, friends, and professionals are to thank for that), but by far the most challenging academically and professionally. While an honest and liberating act, my decision not to attend medical school has left me consumed with uncertainty and uneasiness for my life after graduation For the first time in a long time, I really have no idea what I want to do. Will I work? The income and real-world experience sound nice, but the prospect of transitioning out of academia is intimidating. Will I pursue some higher degree in my field? That is, after all, my end goal, but I feel like I don't really know what it is I'm interested in. How can I possibly make a decision about the rest of my life when, realistically, I have only been thinking critically about this decision for the past 15 months or so? These worries have been the epicenter of my internal monologue for the past year, and tackling them head-on in order to start planning life has been quite the challenge for me.
After a few months of freaking out about my career and not finding any answers on my own (as is custom for all twenty-somethings about to enter the real world), I decided to pay a visit to the career counseling center. My career coach, Melanie, helped me to start asking the right questions; to think about not only which classes I enjoyed, but what kind of environments I excelled in. To consider not just the top-notch schools, but which programs whose curriculum and opportunities matched with my professional goals. I left our sessions feeling like I was closer to the right decision, but would eventually fall into my rut of career FOMO. In an effort to find a more intensive source of guidance, I enrolled in a career counseling program with LEAP (Learning Enrichment & Assistance Program) at the suggestion of a friend.
The program administered a personality assessment called the Birkman that would give insight on my personal strength behaviors, underlying needs and expectations, and stress behaviors, all in an effort to analyze what type of career would be a fulfilling, achievable, and economically sound decision for me. It felt a bit like a StrengthsQuest assessment (of which I have taken three...), but the results and coaching that followed were completely unexpected; I felt like someone had written a statistically significant book on my entire psyche and then read it back to me. The 40 (40!) page report gave a detailed analysis of ~me~ that included areas like the following: Relating to Individuals, Relating to People in Group, Systems and Procedures, Directing and Controlling, Incentives and Competition, Preferred Pace for Action, Self-Imposed Demands, Involvement of Feeling, Dealing with Change, Personal Independence, Action or Reflection. It then went on to categorize and rank my areas of content interest and compare my profile to the profiles of successful people in different careers-- specific ones, too, not just "doctors" or "entertainers." I mean this was literally the coolest test I have ever taken because it produced the most accurate assessment of myself I have seen-- better than any 40 page report I could ever write about myself.
The Birkman report and my LEAP coach continued down the path that Melanie had helped me forge. I began to think more critically about the type of environment I would flourish in, but more specifically about the aspects of my personality that I could leverage for success and satisfaction in the fields I am considering (I should note that my profile was less than a 30% match with healthcare practitioners and technicians... the contented sigh I let out when I saw this nearly deprived me of oxygen). This experience also gave me the direction I was looking for in that several, specific careers were listed in ranking order for me to consider, making my research process more structured and less stressful than before.
Now that I had the right mind-set and a general idea of where to look, all I had to do was dedicate time and effort to my cause. SO EASY! ...except that this all happened the day before spring semester and I had enrolled in all upper-level courses and taken on extra hours at both jobs. My excitement was soon packed away and stored somewhere way in the back of my brain to make room for lab reports, manuscript drafts, and other busy work. By the time the semester ended, I felt like I was back at square one.
This summer has been the slow climb back towards making progress on my life plan. After a much needed vacation and mental break, I have started contacting masters programs to meet with faculty, shadow professional staff, and network with current students. During this process, I have seen substantial personal growth: making deliberate decisions about my involvement, reflecting more critically on my experiences and desires, and developing my professional skills and network. It is weird to see myself in a place so far from where I thought I would be at this point (stressing over the MCAT, maybe?). I have to constantly remind myself that this journey, not unlike the one I have experienced with my mental health, is not an upwards trajectory; I am not going to "choose the right field" on the first try, and I will not be married to the next degree that I receive. I am free to explore different interests as long as I am in the workforce, and hopefully even after I leave it.
My goal this year is to not let my life plan fall on the back burner again. I want to continue to network and research programs and positions this summer, take the GRE in the fall, and devote more deliberate time to developing myself. I am going to quit things that aren't helping me grow and actively work against my career FOMO.... hopefully this time next year I'll be writing about how excited I am about my post-grad plans!
After a few months of freaking out about my career and not finding any answers on my own (as is custom for all twenty-somethings about to enter the real world), I decided to pay a visit to the career counseling center. My career coach, Melanie, helped me to start asking the right questions; to think about not only which classes I enjoyed, but what kind of environments I excelled in. To consider not just the top-notch schools, but which programs whose curriculum and opportunities matched with my professional goals. I left our sessions feeling like I was closer to the right decision, but would eventually fall into my rut of career FOMO. In an effort to find a more intensive source of guidance, I enrolled in a career counseling program with LEAP (Learning Enrichment & Assistance Program) at the suggestion of a friend.
The program administered a personality assessment called the Birkman that would give insight on my personal strength behaviors, underlying needs and expectations, and stress behaviors, all in an effort to analyze what type of career would be a fulfilling, achievable, and economically sound decision for me. It felt a bit like a StrengthsQuest assessment (of which I have taken three...), but the results and coaching that followed were completely unexpected; I felt like someone had written a statistically significant book on my entire psyche and then read it back to me. The 40 (40!) page report gave a detailed analysis of ~me~ that included areas like the following: Relating to Individuals, Relating to People in Group, Systems and Procedures, Directing and Controlling, Incentives and Competition, Preferred Pace for Action, Self-Imposed Demands, Involvement of Feeling, Dealing with Change, Personal Independence, Action or Reflection. It then went on to categorize and rank my areas of content interest and compare my profile to the profiles of successful people in different careers-- specific ones, too, not just "doctors" or "entertainers." I mean this was literally the coolest test I have ever taken because it produced the most accurate assessment of myself I have seen-- better than any 40 page report I could ever write about myself.
The Birkman report and my LEAP coach continued down the path that Melanie had helped me forge. I began to think more critically about the type of environment I would flourish in, but more specifically about the aspects of my personality that I could leverage for success and satisfaction in the fields I am considering (I should note that my profile was less than a 30% match with healthcare practitioners and technicians... the contented sigh I let out when I saw this nearly deprived me of oxygen). This experience also gave me the direction I was looking for in that several, specific careers were listed in ranking order for me to consider, making my research process more structured and less stressful than before.
Now that I had the right mind-set and a general idea of where to look, all I had to do was dedicate time and effort to my cause. SO EASY! ...except that this all happened the day before spring semester and I had enrolled in all upper-level courses and taken on extra hours at both jobs. My excitement was soon packed away and stored somewhere way in the back of my brain to make room for lab reports, manuscript drafts, and other busy work. By the time the semester ended, I felt like I was back at square one.
This summer has been the slow climb back towards making progress on my life plan. After a much needed vacation and mental break, I have started contacting masters programs to meet with faculty, shadow professional staff, and network with current students. During this process, I have seen substantial personal growth: making deliberate decisions about my involvement, reflecting more critically on my experiences and desires, and developing my professional skills and network. It is weird to see myself in a place so far from where I thought I would be at this point (stressing over the MCAT, maybe?). I have to constantly remind myself that this journey, not unlike the one I have experienced with my mental health, is not an upwards trajectory; I am not going to "choose the right field" on the first try, and I will not be married to the next degree that I receive. I am free to explore different interests as long as I am in the workforce, and hopefully even after I leave it.
My goal this year is to not let my life plan fall on the back burner again. I want to continue to network and research programs and positions this summer, take the GRE in the fall, and devote more deliberate time to developing myself. I am going to quit things that aren't helping me grow and actively work against my career FOMO.... hopefully this time next year I'll be writing about how excited I am about my post-grad plans!